Monday, 31 October 2011

Birthdays, Ageing and Rambling

Well hello there, it’s been a while hasn’t it. But listen it’s not you, it’s me. No really. You see it’s been busier than usual in our house recently; one step down from full-on chaos really. But what event could possibly have been more important than blogging I hear you cry. Well, it was Toddler-Not-So-Tiny-Temper’s 3rd birthday last week. Yes, she’s 3 years old! Who can believe it? In my head I like to think I look young enough to have a sibling of 3 as opposed to a child of 3, but obviously I don’t - the signs that I’ve aged somewhat have become rather apparent recently:
1)      I haven’t been id’d whilst buying session-sized bottles of wine for years
2)     A white van slowed down to a stop next to me as I was loading the car and instead of wolf whistling, shouting out a cheeky comment or giving me a saucy wink,  the builder-type inside asked me where I got my clever swivel-child seat from ‘as the missus has knackered her back you see’
3)     When I stop frowning, my lines are still there
4)     I hear myself repeating phrases my mother used to say: “Have you washed your hands darling? You have. Ok,  well let me smell the soap on them then”
5)     I couldn’t hear what a friend was saying in a busy bar recently and found myself doing the ‘grandpa’ hand cup around the ear. Why do they have the music on so loudly in these places nowadays anyway?
6)     I use the word ‘nowadays’
7)     Flicking through a clothing catalogue, it wasn’t the chic wrap tops or sexy fitted dresses that excited me, it was the oh-so-cosy cashmere bed socks
8)     My knees click when I crouch down
And the final sign: I ramble off the point with ease and frequency. You see I started this post to tell you about Toddler-Not-So-Tiny-Temper’s 3rd birthday – the wasp sting in the morning, the excitement of Legoland, the 3-day winter sick bug, the new bike, the lovely party etc but I appear to have wandered off into a list of the signs of ageing. Hey ho, I’ll have to tell you about the birthday another time. Until then…..


Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Cheering on National Chocolate Week!

Hooray, yippee, it’s National Chocolate Week this week!!! Ha-ha, who knew such a glorious week existed? And how have I, a hardened chocoholic, never known about this before?? Now we are all aware of it, let’s do our very best to make up for the Monday we missed and scoff ourselves silly for the rest of this week.

In honour of this occasion, I have compiled a few thoughts on what life would be like if we did not have the wonder that is chocolate:

1)      Dunking biscuits would be significantly less satisfying

2)     We would never have a break, or be able to work, rest and play, or take it easy, and what would the Ambassador spoil us with?

3)     We’d have to suffer longer hangovers without the mighty Mars Bar at our side

4)     An 99 ice cream would just be a 98, or a 9 or a 1 or something

5)     They would be no Milk Tray man

6)     I would be insufferable (yes, I’m big enough to admit it)

7)     We women would lose our wonderful curves and we’d basically be hairless men with no bottoms or boobs to speak of

8)     We’d have nothing to bribe our children with

9)     Profiteroles would be rubbish

10)  So would Jaffa Cakes

So in summary, all hail the fabulous chocolate. Life is so much better with it around!